Baby sitting Elysia
by sorryimahopelessromantic
Summary: "they did this too you!" inuyasha exclaimed shock. what was at first just a baby-sitting job turns into a night of horror for edward and inuyasha. especially when you decide to add lust's daughter to the list.
1. getting a sitter

Disclaimer:i dont own fma...

* * *

"Come on Roy! Please!" Begged Hughes.

"For the last time Hughes I can't! I'm going to a military social event tonight!"

"hawk-"

"I'm also booked tonight lt. colonel, sorry."

"Havoc?"

He shook his head. "Sorry got a date tonight."

"You're choosing a date over baby-sitting my wonderful Elysia!"

"Um...yeah?"

"Breda? Fuery? Feulman?"

"Going to my niece's birthday party." Replied Breda.

"Sorry got volunteer work at the animal shelter tonight."

"Torturing the president's son in math."

Everyone stared at Feulman.

"Did you just say that you'll be torturing the president's son?"

"Yes"

"In math."

"Um that's what I believe I said, sir"

Roy shook his head in astonishment.

"What am I going to do? I can't take Garcia out for dinner if I can't find a sitter for Elysia!"

"How about Ed? "Suggested Fuery.

"Hmmmmm….why not?

Just then Edward came in. "Hey Roy-san! Hey everybody!"

He noticed everyone staring at him weird. Hughes had a scary spark in his eye. Ed had a feeling that he'd come to the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Um…what's going on?"

Hawkeye sighed. "If I were you Edward I'd run"

Edward stared at her confused. "Run? Why would I do th-"

"So Edward got any plans for tonight?"

"Um...i don't think so...no why?"

"Great so you'll baby-sit my adorable daughter Elysia for me tonight right?"

"On second thought I –"

"Too late! You already said you were didn't have any plans!"

"But- but –"

"Thank you Ed! Elysia will be so happy!"

Before Edward could protest any further Hughes was already out the door.


	2. partner finding

Disclaimer: nope don't own fma…almost did once ~sigh~ til my sis ruined it…lets just say that the men in the black suit let me off with a warning…

* * *

When Edward got home he set to work calling every friend that he had. After all if he was going to be babysitting Elysia there was no way that he was going to do it alone.

Kyo picked up at the first ring. " yo, Kyo here."

"yo dude it's me, Edward."

"hey Ed, what's up?"

"nothing I was just wondering if you weren't busy tonight, do you think that you could help me baby-sit Elysia?"

"oh man, sorry I don't think that I can"

"oh really?"

"yeah I promised tohru that I'd take her to go see that new twilight movie, eclapse, elipse or something."

"eclipse?"

"yeah, that's it"

"oh that's not a bad movie, better than the second one thats for sure."

"..."

"..."

"tell anyone about that I told you that and you're dead."

"do you really think anyone would even believe me if I told them."

Edward laughed. "you got a point. oh and before you get the wrong idea I'm for team Jacob."

"really? But Edward cullen's got the whole eternal youth thing going on."

"meh, besides I met the dude."

"and how'd that go?"

"um..not well…let's just say that Roy wasn't that happy with that month's bills."

"you have Roy pay the bills?"

"yeah why not?" Ed shrugged "he's the one with the job. I just go to school."

"wait so how are you able to buy all those ipods and sttuff that you buy all the time?"

"ever heard of what's called an allowance?"

"you're kidding me right?"

"nope."

"... i dont even want to know. well anyways i gotta go. try ringing up claudio."

(a/n: claudio is pronounced ka-la-do...yeah dont ask "-_-)

"alright bye dude"

"bye"

Ed hung up sighing. Next up cluadio.

* * *

Ring ring

"yello, Mr. Duke speaking ."

"um yea, may I speak to Claudio please?"

"alright just wait a sec-CLAUDIO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE! PHONE!"

"ARGH, COMING DAD!"

"for the last time f*cking time inuyasha-"

"uh dude, it's me Edward."

"oh."

"so yea I was wondering if you aren't busy do you think that you could help me watch Elysia with me for a little while tonight?"

"I'd love to but I gotta family reunion at my aunts that I gotta attend."

"damn!"

"yea I know, well I have to go, my dad needs the phone and he's giving me the evil eye."

"um…okaaaaaaaay"

"bye."

"bye." Click

Edward stared at the phone for a few minutes. Abdullah!

* * *

Ring ring ring

"hello?"

"hey Abdullah, its me Ed."

"oh hey! whats up?"

"nothing much, just wondering if you weren't busy if you could help me watch hughes's daughter for a couple of hours."

"oh Elysia? i love that little girl, she's so cute."

"yea, yea, so can you or not?"

"yeah, I dont think I can"

"why not?"

"we're taking dad to a therapist."

"oh..he's gotten that bad eh?"

"yeah sometimes I feel like giving him a whack to the head, but then that'd just make him proud."

"you've got one messed up dad, but he's nice."

suddenly abdullah cringed when he heard shouts come from the kitchen.

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"ABDULLAH LET GO OF THE DOOR NOW!"

"DAD LET GO!"

"NEVER! ABDULLAH MY SON HELP ME!"

Abdullah sighed. "I gotta go."

"yeah..umm well talk to you later."

"sure thing." click.

man. thought Edward. and I thought that my dad was crazy. well here goes nothing Inuyasha your my last hope.

* * *

ring ring ring

"hello, sexii dog-demon speaking."

Ed laughed. "hey dude."

"whats up?"

"please tell me that you're free tonight!"

"um..why?"

"because I need someone to help me babysit Elysia."

"sure why not? and I'll even bring some movies for us to watch."

"sweet, what kind?"

"just some movies that i picked up at blockbusters."

(a/n: yes theres a blockbusters in fma world)

"cool, so see you when you get here."

"ok, see ya later"

"later."


	3. Elysia

disclaimer: i did it! i own fma!

sis:(arches eyebrow) no you don't

me: yes i do! (flings closet door open) ta-da!

sis: wow interesting

me:hey i really did!

sis: she doesnt own fma(rolls eyes as she watches me cry in emo corner)

* * *

"Babe! I'm hoome!" Roy called as he came through the door ladled down with grocery. There was no anwser.

Roy frowned. 'hmm , wonder what he's up to the little blond devil.." heading towards the kitchen he spotted his chibi lover on top of the counter trying to reach for a jar of peanut butter on the high shelf."

Roy smirked. "Need a little help?"

Edward whirled around. A little too fast however that he nearly fell off but luckily Roy caught him. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY CAN'T REACH A JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER!"

"Who do you think? it's obviously not me"

"Roy!"

"Okay, okay I was just teasing you" He reached and took the jar of peanut butter and handed to Edward, " You know I love you right?" he teased wrapping his arms around the blond.

Edward blushed. why did the bastard always have to be so mushy? "yea, yea, I love you..Inuyasha?"

Roy frowned confused. "you love Inuyasha?"

"No that's not it! I meant to say I love you too, but then I noticed Inuyasha in our fridge."

"what do you mean in our - INUYASHA! what the hell are you doing in my fridge? and how'd you get in the house anyways?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "the door was open."

"that doesnèt mean that you can just walk in! you still have to knock!"

"whatever, do you guys got any ice cream? I feel like some ice cream."

"hey everyone! beautiful night to go out for dinner wouldn't you agree?"

"please tell me this has got to be some joke." groaned Roy.

"hey Roy old pal, hey Inuyasha! hey Edward ready to baby-sit my adorable Elysia?"

" Hughes who let you in the house?"

"no one the door was opened"

"but who told you that you could come in?"

"no one needs to tell me to come in silly, I just let myself in."

Roy closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm going to go upstairs take a shower and get ready for the social event. By the time I get back down here the only people I should see are Edward and Elysia."

"but Inuyaha's helping me baby-sit"

"Inuyashja? out of everyone you called Inuyasha?"

" yea, everyone else was busy."

"oh..um...ok?"

"onii-san!" squealed Elysia rushing towards Edward with arms outstretched, laughing he picked her up and spun her around.

"Elysia!"

"Inu-san! Inu-san!"

Inuyasha grinned. "hey there shortie."

Hughes's eyes shone in adoration, sparkles hovering around him.

"um..aren't the sparkles Armstrong's thing?" Inuyasha whispered to Edward so that Hughes's wouldn't hear.

"um..thats what I thought, but I guess anyone can get them...which is a scary thought if you think about it." they both shivered.

Roy just stared at his friend as if he'd lost it and sighed. Suddenly they heard a voice from outside.

"Hughes, we don't want to be late for our dinner reservations remember?"

Hughes blinked as if waking up from a trance. "coming dear!" he turned to the two boys. " now you two take good care of my little darling Elysia alright?"

Even though he didn't say it the two boys heard the unspoken 'or else'.

"we will, don't worry."

"good, well toodle-loo!" and with that he was out the door.

"ok Edward you know where the emergency numbers are in case something happens?"

"yep"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes "good grief dude its only for a few hours what could possibly go wrong in that few hours?"

Roy stared at him "so you don't remember that incident back in march when I ran to the store to grab something quick?

**_flashback starts~_**

**_"ok Edward I'm going to the store real quick, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone"_**

**_"ok"_**

**_Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "he acts like my mom whenever I go out somewhere, ~_**_**mom, I'm going out**!_****_try not to get arrested by the co_ps**_~ like good grief"_**

**_Ignoring Inuyasha Roy kissed Edward on the forehead and left. _**

**_"so what do you want to do?"_**

**_"lets watch some tv."_**

**_~half an hour later~_**

**"get him! he ran that way!"**

**"careful boys hes got a bomb!"**

**'shit' thought the fugitive. he looked around to see where he had ducked in to and discovered that he was in a laundry room.**

**' I'll just throw this in here for the time being.' he threw the bomb into the dryer. Then just as the police busted into the room he jumped out the window. But hadn't even made it even a block before he heard the explosion.**

**_after the movie ended Inuyasha turned to Edward a crazy look in his eye. "yo lets put a firecracker in your dryer!"_**

**_"what the hell is wrong with you man! are you on crack on something!"_**

**_"but why not?"_**

**_"what the hell are u doing with a firecracker in your backpack anyways?"_**

**_"I don't know I bought it for sale at some store, now are we going to do this or not?"_**

**_"no! now if you'll excuse me I'm going to the bathroom."_**

**_"man your no fun! i think Roy's no fun attitude is rubbing off on you!"_**

**_"not true!"_**

**_"true"_**

**_"no it's not!"_**

**_"prove it!"_**

**_"fine!"_**

**_~few seconds later~_**

**_"ok ready set...light!"_**

**_lighting the firecracker they threw it into the dryer _**

**_and then stood and watched._**

**_~only thing that keeps me up when I'm feeling down, I don't know about you but I keep my eyes around~ Roy hummed a song as he turned down the street but felt himself start to panic when he saw two cruisers and a fire truck parked outside his house. _**

**_'omg! Edward!' _**

**_"Edward! Inuyasha!" he pushed past the crowd to get into his house. "Edward you're ok!" he cried in relief giving his boyfriend a big hug. _**

**_"well obviously! what did you think happened?"_**

**_suddenly Roy noticed Inuyasha trying to slowly sneek away. "where are you heading off to so quick?"_**

**_"um..nowher-"_**

**_but was cut off by a policeman "sir, is this your house?"_**

**_"yes it is"_**

**_"well do you wanna hear the good news or the bad news first?"_**

**_"bad news..."_**

**_"well the good news is that no one was hurt but the bad news is that you might need a new dryer."_**

**_"what do you mean I need a new dryer?"_**

**_'and we are so screwed' groaned Edward inwardly._**

**_The policeman held up some burnt, used firecrackers."these were found in there, don't know how they got in there but here you go." __handing the colonel the fire crakers he saluted then left._**

**_The colonel turned to the two boys slowly. "you guys are sooo dead."_**

**_end of flash back~_**

"and I'd only been gone for about an hour maybe even less!"

"We already said sorry! what more do you want!"

"yeah ok Inuyasha." he turned to Ed. ''Okay, so you have my cell right? that way you can call if you need any help."

"we'll manage, don't worry."

"ok, take care now." he gave Edward a peck on the forehead. Elysia laughed. "I want one to Uncle Roy!"

Roy laughed giving her one too. "there that way you don't feel left out."

"yeah, but I do."

Roy just gave Inuyasha a funny look. "riii-ght oh and one more thing. He gave them a stern glare, " STAY. OUT. OF TROUBLE...or else"

"that supposed to be a threat?"

"it can be whatever you perceive it to be as Inuyasha." finally Roy left leaving the two baby-sitters and Elysia alone.


	4. well didn't see that coming

disclaimer: nope dont own fma...

* * *

_"you're gonna die lucy!"_

_"get away from me you creep!" cried the girl desperately as she backed away from the deranged looking man. She felt her back hit the wall, her eyes widened in fear._

_"APPLE PIE!" roared the man thrusting the apple pie at the girl. _

"wow" commented Inuyasha. "that was just lame. why the heck are we watching a horror movie where a psychopath kills people with out of all things _apple pie_?"

"i don't know, you're the one that brought it."

Just then the doorbell rang. "wonder who would it be this late at night." Ed wondered. He opened the door to reveal Lust and her daughter.

"hey sorry to bother you on such short notice but I was wondering if you guys could watch my daughter Apollo for a few minutes? I just gotta go to the corner store to get something quick."

"oh..well I dont know."

"dude who's at the door! oh hey Lust ."

"oh hey dog-boy! mind watching my daughter for a few minutes?"

"sure, why not, -hey wait did you just call me dog-boy?!"

"wow for someone's who's half dog your hearing sucks." ignoring Inuyasha's outraged sputtering and flaying fists she turned down to her daughter. "now Apollo you be on your best behaviour, ok?"

"alright mother"

"ok, thanks boys, I'd have Scar watch her but he's working late tonight."

"wow, hes finally got a job not self-employed that doesn't involve hunting people down for justice" asked Inuyasha sarcastically.

"haha, dont be silly dog-boy, hes a hired hitman."

"stop calling me th-wait hes a WHAT?"

But Lust had already left. They closed the door, both the boys thoroughly shaken at the thought of Scar working as a hitman."

"well are we going to do something already or are we just going to stand here all night!" snapped Apollo impatiently tapping her

foot.

Inuyasha sighed. "come on we're watching a movie in the livingroom."

Edward watched as Inuyasha headed to the living room with the young girl. Why'd he suddenly have the feeling that tonight would be a living hell?

* * *

"Come on motherf*cer! Now I know you know where the dough is!"

"Well I'm telling you! I don't know where it is! and even if I did what makes you think I"d tell you?!"

"you know what? I aint got time for this b.s man." suddenly the t.v was filled with the sound of gun-shots.

Apollo rolled her eyes. "This is _boring_"

"well why not play puzzles with Elysia?" suggested Ed.

"fiii-ne."

"hey anyone want some more buttered popcorn?" asked Inuyasha getting up from the couch and stretching.

"I do! oh and think you can grab me another can of sprite?"

"sure dude, what about you girls?"

"umm..I'd like some ice cream." piped Elysia cutely.

'barf' thought Apollo. "I'll have whatever she's having."

Nodding Inuyasha headed to the kitchen. Sighing Apollo placed herself beside Elysia. Suddenly an evil smirk appeared on her face.

"hey Elysia, " she whispered leaning closer to the younger girl, pretended to rearrange the puzzles so Edward wouldn't get suspicious.

"what?"

"wanna play a game?"

Elysia's eyes shone in interest. "Elysia loves games! what kind are we playing?"

"it's called let's tie up the sitters."

They glanced towards Edward to see if he'd heard any of the exchange but finally deciding he hadn't they went back to planning

the 'game'.

* * *

Inuyasha was just applying the last of the butter on the popcorn when he suddenly heard a scream from the living room.

"I'm coming buddy!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened in shock on the scene before him. Here was his best friend gagged and tied to a chair with none of the girls anywhere in sight

. "dude! who did this to you!" he ripped the tape of Ed's mouth.

"when I get my hands on those two little brats they are SO dead! my little girl's an angel my ass!"

"they did this to you?!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"no," retorted Ed sarcastically. "I totally just tied and gagged myself because I'm cool like that."

" no need to be sarcastic!"

"Well If you weren- dude watch out!"

Inuyasha felt his whole world go black.


	5. SOS

disclaimer: i dont own the characters

* * *

Inuyasha had no idea how long he'd been out, but he figured that it had been awhile, groaning he winced from the pain at the back of his head. ' **holy shit little freak hit me really hard.**' He looked up to see how his best friend was doing and almost screamed.

"dude are you ok? You were out for awhile there"

"um..no offense but what the hell happened to your face?"

"what you mean what happened to my face ? The question is what happened to your hair? "

"you're wearing make-up.." then after what Edward had said sunk in Inuyasha's eyes widened "What you mean what's wrong with my hair? "

"I'm _WHAT_ ? "

Inuyasha closed his eyes. "dammit keep it down my head still hurts you freak "

"well well, what do we have here? looks like the babysitters woke up Elysia. "smirked Apollo from the doorway of the living room.

"damn straight we're up and I swear when I get out of here you are going to be in big trouble missy "

Apollo rolled her eyes and yawned. "yea okay, whatever you say doggy-boy"

Elysia bounced excitedly, eyes shining. "can we show them now? Can we? Can we?"

Inuyasha didn't know why but he suddenly felt a shiver run down his spine, why did he have a feeling that he wouldn't like what Elysia was about to show them? Ed meanwhile was still seething about the fact that he had make-up on his face.

Still Smirking Apollo nodded. "okay go get the mirrors and show brother Edward and the dog-boy the beautiful makeover that we gave them." Happily Elysia went to go fetch the mirror when Apollo tugged on her shirt and pulled her back to whisper something in the little girl's ear. Elysia's eyes widened

"Papa would love that ".

"papa would love what?" growled Edward as Elysia went in search of a mirror and whatever else she went to go find.

"you'll just have to wait and see" she sneered. Finally Elysia came back with the mirror. "here you go Onii-san and Inu-san Don't you guys just looks so pretty?"

we just stared in horror at our reflections. Ed had red lipstick smeared all over his lips like some five year old had done it..which technically he had, he also had massive amounts of blush and black eye shadow on, while his long blonde hair was untied and had a pink ribbon tied in. Inuyasha had five pigtails all over the place, all miss matching, but thankfully no make up.

"I look like some cheap whore " moaned Edward.

"what's a whore?" piped Elysia.

'**way to go idiot..**' I thought bitterly. '**Hughes is gonna kill us.**'

Apollo just patted her head "you'll find out when you're older. Now then" she turned to face the two boys. "picture time "

"I swear to Truth that I will _end _you if you take a picture " threatened Edward.

"and have my dad on your ass? Ya, I don't think so. Now smile for the camera!"

after 20 minutes of endless photo taking, edward screaming threats and profanity that would probably get us killed by Hughes if we survived this later, Apollo and Elysia left to go to the kitchen announcing that they were hungry.

"dude what the hell are we going to do " I hissed glaring at the doorway which the evil she-devil had gone through. "First things first we need to somehow escape these ropes."

" and how the here we supposed to do that einstein? "

"I don't freaken know? we'll bite through them or something "

***ten minutes later***

"okay phew now lets hurry up and call Roy before the evil witch comes back "

Ed nodded, already dialing the number.

* * *

'**omg this is sooo boring'** thought Roy glancing around the room where all the higher ranks with their wives and such had gathered,** 'I wish ed were here, he would have made it more interesting**.' Roy smiled like he always did when he thought of the short blond. Suddenly he heard his phone start to vibrate, taking it out of his pocket he frowned when he saw that it was Edward calling.

He sighed. '**what kind of trouble had the shrimp gotten himself into now?**' **'I swear if I go home to see my house burnt down im going to**-' but his mental thought was broken by the sound of someone calling his name. Looking up Roy saw that it was Hakuro. 'he groaned 'Hakuro was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"Colonel Mustang!"

"Major General Hakuro, How are you doing? um now if you would just excuse me there's a call that I have to ta-"

"nonsense " cried Hakuro grabbing his arm. "whoever it is you can call back later the president is looking for you"

"but sir, I think that it's important that I take this ca-"

"more important then the president? You must be high Mustang, come on we don't want to keep the president waiting now do we? Whoever it is you can call back later "

sighing inwardly and not being able to shake off a bad feeling Roy let himself be dragged off towards the president.


End file.
